How to navigate the Change Arena
One step at a time…we keep moving forward.
At each stage in life, we are confronted by voices telling us what is not possible, rarely what is, is spoken or shared.
Choosing the positive over the deafening noise of impossibility seems like hearing a whisper in a loud drum filled stadium full of countless others shouting in the noise.
Choosing the whisper often means solitude, sacrifice, defiance, self isolation and a leap of faith unto roads only you may have yet to pave, first time round for others to follow.
A thousand ideas left on the shelf will remain there unless fetched and transformed into something new. This is similar to the desire for change and making change take effect and establish root.
Hard as it may be at first, we risk staying the same, unchanged into the new ideal we seek or may need, through course of required change, which is seldom a matter of force.
Change is a constant movement into something different and new, better or the opposite of what is. Change is what propels movement in either direction or path.
Growing up, I often marvelled at my dad trying to give up smoking, year after year, always just before New Year's eve, attempting another fresh start, after a fresh start, confident that each year would see the last puff, but that was not to be the last. And we would both laugh and chuckle as he reached out again for that stick, conscious that there would always be next year.
Then the very next year, he reached again at the now famous “souvenir cigarette” pack left displayed high up above our curtain rails. He smiled at me and once again, took the first of a thousand more puffs in this happy new year.
This unchanged habit of changing each year settled into a continuing norm, having derailed the initial intended change, not once, but again and again, year on year this would unfold another reality solidified through the year. As quickly as this endured, one day the change was made permanent. And a smoker no more, hurrah!.
When we choose change, we are often rewarded with a change buzz, change in lifestyle, change in looks, change in friendship choices, change in ideas, change in values, change in vision, sometimes even change in purpose, change in perspective, change in mindset and changing influences. Conscious change choices. The story of lasting change is borne in desire.
In the year of the pandemic, the year when normality as we knew it then stood still as we contemplated the meaning of survival in 2020, dealing with changes that got thrust at all, everyone, everything, every place, as if by a compelling force, all had erred and been sentenced to a mandate of change by force, working from home, clapping for the NHS, savouring a daily dose of exercise with close family amidst squabbles and captured moments of special joy, deeper conversations, the unravelling of what truly matters and discovering air hugs, kisses, time out to face up with mental exertion, devising coping mechanisms for space and uninterrupted study time in the confines of this same space.
Queues for face masks and gloved hands in front of grocery stores and a new respect for teachers yet unseen, perhaps not until now. We all have a space that enables change to bring out the change in everything and here are some lessons learnt on my path.
1. Sacrifice breeds change: You will need to forego some element of pleasure, reward, gratification, fulfilment and delight when making a change. The change you make will cost you something of value: How badly you want it is the price you will be willing to pay.
2. Who are your cheerleaders?: Change zone can be a lonely place, without champions and cheerleaders. People who come alongside when days are dark and tell you “Friend, Sister, Brother-you will get through this”. Such change impact is worthwhile and long-lasting. Cherish those cheerleaders for the seed the sow, especially when the change is embedded and yielding good dividends for you and others around you.
3. A dose of determination: Often, we go about making a change in defiance of what will cost us. We want to change but at the same time, for all to remain unchanged in this supposed “perfect state”. So when things are tough and change is a heavy load to lift, do you have doses of determination as medicine to the soul, nourishing you back to health?
4. Consistent application : During 2020, with the heavy focus on working from home, fitness regime through exercise became a key life saver-mentally and physically. Making the decision to step into this regime was one step many others took and then consistently made time to lace up running, walking, hiking, cycling shoes and get exercise as if life itself depends on it. .
5. Shout it out and be accountable to someone; who will check-in and ensure you are still en route to where you set out to go? Be accountable to someone and look out for others you can usher into their own change arena.
6. Fearless in the face of change: When life throws mud, find a muddy puddle and run through it smiling. When lemons lie on your desk get a juicer and turn these into a drink for the love of good times and zingy zing. Change is daunting but must be relished.
8. Friendship goals: When change happens for you, be rest assured that not all friends will want to cross into this new space with you. Be ready to chart a new route, redefine territory and go somewhere where others may not have been. It may be lonely at first, but soon you will find new others, who in time, you may boldly call friends. Don’t be deceived. Some paths leading to change have to be walked alone. But you are never alone!
9. Compassion is for everyone, but more so for you: Have you felt great compassion for countless others yet forgotten to express the same empathy towards yourself? Times of change call for looking deeply within and hugging the inner you, for every single step you have taken and the journey of your change, unfolding.
10. There may be trips and falls along the way: ITS OK! Learn to shake off the dirt, check yourself over, then continue. Be prepared to lift yourself back up even when you trip or fall. Look around and you will find your cheerleaders, friends, family or good old you, cheering YOU on. Find your anchor. It is easy to be shaken and defeated when you have no anchor. When you do, your roots go deep and the waves will not overwhelm you. Lean on God, relive the moments and messages of love and support, build on your self-resilience. Don’t lose hope, keep faith alive and remember past victories. The walk may seem or may actually be long, but your change destination is sure, you will find yourself in your arena, if you keep walking.
